Journal 2

Dear Journal,
     I have recently left my family and my friends. I am with Govinda and we are going to the Samanas to seek enlightenment. I hope the Samanas will help me with what I'm looking for. I miss my dad very much. Being a Samana is hard. We have to fast all the time. Sometimes for 20 days at a time. I have lost a lot of weight. I have learned different types of meditation and self-denial. I sit upright and have learned to hold my breath and quiet my heartbeat.
   I enjoy being with the Samanas, but I feel that if I were by myself, I could have learned everything much faster. Govinda is with me and has learned a lot. He seems to be enjoying himself. When I beg, I see the rich people and look down upon them. They don't know as much as I do.  They do not know the arts of meditation and fasting.
    Often, I stand in the pouring rain with blood dripping down my body. I suffer and accept it. I ignore my pain and practice self-denial. I ignore what my body needs. My back is sunburnt and I feel thirsty and hungry. I learn to ignore the pain.
     I'm ready to leave the Samanas. I have learned of a greater power, Gotama. I want to learn what he did to reach Nirvana. I feel that I will learn more from him than I have here. Before I left, I hypnotized the eldest Samana. The other ascetics seem to be very impressed. It was child's play, very easy. Sometimes I don't understand how stupid people are.
                                                              -Siddhartha